Part 4

I’m a pretty anxious lady at the best of times, but when it comes to new social situations (especially with larger groups of new lovers’ mates) I can just be a downright bloody mess. The best feeling to have in these types of situations is knowing “I am not alone”, but that can oftentimes be a pretty tricky feeling to obtain when I feel a tad isolated - UNLESS, of course, I meet someone who welcomes me under their wing in non-condescending and pretty genuine manner. Elle for me, is that person. I know fuck-all about auras, but if I did, I reckon hers would be all gooey and yellow and would be emitting some pretty funky, ultra-warm vibes. Meeting Elle was kind of like having my childhood “Honeybear” tethered to my wrist; comforting, and a sweet little reminder of home. I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling either. I think Elle somehow manages to do this for everyone she comes across, and that is a truly special skill to have. 

1. What do you think is the answer to all girls being able to accept their bodies for what they are (an ever changing organism capable of anything) at a young age?

Honestly, I'm not too sure. I think that further exposure and routine conversation are a good place to start, and certainly would have helped me when I was younger. I spent a large portion of my teens invested in MySpace and emo-culture so I dedicated a lot of time on having a certain aesthetic. Women during those years were typically very thin and all had a similar hairstyle and make up style so I tried to replicate that. If I had of seen a greater diversity of people as I was scrolling through Tumblr, coupled with a more proactive conversation about body positivity, perhaps my views would have been different.

2. Do you like your body? Would you say your relationship with your body is considered “healthy”?

The short answer is no, I don't like my body. My body and I have a turbulent relationship - I wouldn't consider it healthy.

3. What has brought you to the conclusion that you like/dislike your body?

About 6 months ago, I was working out a lot and felt incredibly strong physically and mentally as a result. I have really slacked off of late, and my dislike for my body at the moment really revolves around knowing how strong and capable it is and wasting that by doing very little.

4. What do you do to make yourself feel good?

It really depends on why I'm down but I love going to the park with my dog Jack, being in nature and hanging with dogs makes me very happy. Alternatively, I love to drink red wine and talk shit with my friends - this is usually coupled with smoking cigarettes and listening to Cher 3-4 times.

5. Do you like to define yourself by anything in particular? Like being a good dancer, artist, writer etc.

I'm not sure that I define myself by it, but I derive a lot of confidence and happiness from my job. I am motivated by achieving the goals I set for myself and take a lot on professionally and personally as a result. I like to use the experiences I have in one aspect of my life to benefit the others and cross-pollinating ideas is a great way for me to grow and learn about myself and what I'm capable of.

6. What’s the “big thing” you want the world to know about you, if anything?

I’ve recently become acutely aware of the power of the present, or rather, the power of being present. So much of my life has been spent either future-proofing or thinking in terms of "in hindsight" and lately I’ve been trying to focus more on being in the moment and savouring what’s immediately in front of me. It’s helped me immensely and I feel like it’s such a simple idea, to narrow your focus, but it’s enabled me to shed some weight from my conscious and I just wanted more people to know about the power of ‘now’.

7. What would you deem to be your biggest challenge in life so far?

This is perhaps not my greatest challenge, but one that I still think of a lot. I was working at a company that I thought I'd really love and I saw the role as a great opportunity for me. From the first week there, I knew something was off but persisted to prove myself in what I thought was just a 'hard environment'. The time I spent there was riddled with anxiety and I found myself in a pretty dark place. I was being manipulated and bullied without even really realising it and the subtle way in which it was happening made me paranoid and completely second-guess my intelligence and ability. Once I left, I dealt with a lot of ongoing issues - thinking I saw my manager on the street and panicking, worrying that my new team were talking behind my back, thinking that my friends or partner were making fun of me. Thankfully I've worked through it, but it was a really trying time for me.

8. Where do you feel most at home, outside of the place that you are currently living?

When I'm anxious or sad I picture myself on the steps of my parents' house. I love to stand on the front steps in the morning during winter, when the air is really crisp and the sky is blue and enjoy the morning sun. I can watch my childhood dog trot around the front yard and look at this big beautiful tree my boyfriend would part under when we started dating as teenagers. It's a very nostalgic and happy place for me.

9. Do you think women have a particularly special bond with nature? If so, how would you describe this bond, and what relationship do you personally have with nature?

Yes, I absolutely think women are innately connected to nature and for me the bond is very special. Living in the city I find myself craving nature a lot, so going to the park or the beach is a great way for me to feel grounded and reconnect. My house is filled with plants and I particularly love lush, green plants because they make me feel relaxed and calm. I love taking care of plants and making sure they are happy as well, it's very therapeutic.

10. What song or album can you always put on to bring you back to yourself?

'...Is A Real Boy' by Say Anything. It's the perfect mix of pop-punk meets indie-emo and summarises my teenage years well. I listened to it religiously for about 6 years and still come back to it often. This album is basically my personal invitation to indulge in my emotions (whatever they are at the time) and wallow in them for as long as I like. The experience is visceral and cathartic.

Part 3

You know those type of people who just kind of drop on into your life, and after meeting them once you kind of realise how much more of them you will be seeing for the rest of your life? Well that’s Gem. I can count my best girls on two hands, and I can tell you now, she is definitely on my first hand. Gemma is a total bad-arse writer, CEO of her own company (Global Hobo), creative genius (IMO), and just all-round kind hearted soul to have in my life. She has some pretty insightful thoughts about women and their bodies, and after reading these answers I definitely felt like I got that one step closer to the enigmatic life-force that is Gemma Clarke. 

1. What do you think is the answer to all girls being able to accept their bodies for what they are (an ever changing organism capable of anything) at a young age?
Increased representation in the media, better sex education in schools, no body shaming and the desexualisation of nudity. Living in Japan, I was amazed at how at-ease young women in their teens are with their bodies in public bathhouses because nudity is so normalised there. At 12, I would hide in the change room and desperately clutch at my breasts and vagina if anyone looked at me, but I have seen women and girls with one breast, no breasts, large breasts, pubic hair and no pubic hair strip down in Japan without a second thought, no matter who is around.  

2. Do you like your body? Would you say your relationship with your body is considered “healthy”?
I love my body – always have, but I didn’t treat it very well until a few years ago. Like most girls I know, I was casually bulimic for close on five years, but the older I get, the more accepting I get of all of me.

3. What has brought you to the conclusion that you like/dislike your body?
Moving away from the Gold Coast and its hectic beauty expectations, and starting to appreciate all of the unconventional beauty in the women around me made me see what is attractive in myself.

4. What do you do to make yourself feel good?
Taking myself and a book to a cute Italian restaurant with street dining and washing down a scrumptious pasta with a glass of red makes me feel fabulous. Reading the newspaper with a coffee in the morning makes me feel clever and worldly. Writing a poem and drawing pictures by candlelight at night makes me feel creative and whole. 

5. Do you like to define yourself by anything in particular? Like being a good dancer, artist, writer etc.
Writer, traveller and avid consumer of information.

6. What’s the “big thing” you want the world to know about you, if anything?
The reason I sleep so much is because I love to dream.

7. What would you deem to be your biggest challenge in life so far?
Being present and content with what is around me without looking ahead for the next stimulant.

8. Where do you feel most at home, outside of the place that you are currently living?
Sleeping in my van in the Australian bush.

9. Do you think women have a particularly special bond with nature? If so, how would you describe this bond, and what relationship do you personally have with nature?
I couldn’t say if women in particular have a special bond with nature – though, perhaps we do, seeing as the Earth is a mother after all, and female solidarity is one of the strongest bonds that exists. For me personally, I grew up in the Gold Coast Hinterland, and was dragged on family bushwalks before I could even stand on my own two legs. I always loved playing outside as a child – climbing trees and collecting rocks and catching bugs; and as an adult, I spend almost all my free time hiking, camping, swimming and exploring in national parks. Being in nature grounds and relaxes me, keeps me curious and reminds me that any consumerist bullshit or quests for status I get caught up with in the city – especially seeing as I work in media – are really not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.

10. What song or album can you always put on to bring you back to yourself?
‘Bohemian Like You’ – The Dandy Warhols

"...starting to appreciate all of the unconventional beauty in the women around me made me see what is attractive in myself."

@gem_clarke
www.globalhobo.com.au

Part 2

Up until this project, Marisa had been a kind of enigma floating around the peripheral of my mind; sometimes I would see her walking through Newtown, or I’d keep up to date on her creative pursuits via Instagram, either way, I knew she was just around the corner. She always seemed like a pretty happy lady, but when I met her for the first time to take some pretty “bare-all” pictures, I couldn't help but think “fuck, this woman is like a radiating ball of sunshine”. Being in an environment with a woman whose mood is so contagious is a glorious and super endearing quality to experience. 

Everything about this shoot just felt natural. Conversation flowed easily about both of our thoughts surrounding a multitude of issues, mainly, why being naked has started being this hyper-sexualised experience. My mind usually goes 10000 miles an hour, but I found that the conversation with Marisa made my mind slow right down. And that, I believe, is an incredible feat. So here she is, in all her glowing glory, Marisa. 

1. What do you think is the answer to all girls being able to accept their bodies for what they are (an ever changing organism capable of anything) at a young age?

To perceive and to believe that females – young and old are all beautiful works of art. As women, we are walking and breathing miracles. We are all unique and timeless and transient and ever-evolving. We are the source of life and givers of abundant love and beauty – for us to be able to give birth and also love unconditionally is an innate quality that we harness wholesomely. Our bodies are a vessel of life – we are powerful masterpieces.

If we are taught and enforced this understanding of ourselves and our qualities – how could we not appreciate and love what we are gifted with? Female.

2. Do you like your body? Would you say your relationship with your body is considered “healthy”?

Do I like my body? In all honesty, there are moments where I look in the mirror and wish certain things were different but then I find myself shaking my head and laughing to myself and saying “ nah fuck that, this is who I am. I’m into it". Self-love and self-validation is the answer to the most important relationship in your life; the one you have with yourself.

3. What has brought you to the conclusion that you like/dislike your body?

I think the ultimate conclusion for me to feel the way I do has always derived from the resemblance I have to my late mother. I’m not talking exclusively about my body but also my face – this is my identity and I associate myself heavily to the biggest source of inspiration and wonder in my life and that is my beautiful mother. How could I perceive myself in a negative light when all I see is colour and a powerhouse woman? 

4. What do you do to make yourself feel good?

All the simple pleasures that make our days. I’m talking walking around naked, dancing naked, watering the garden naked, painting and drawing, making art and reading under a tree – laughing and being amongst nature and good company. 

Happiness is all around us if we open our hearts and eyes to it. It is the little things that make us realise that the little things are not so little after all.

5. Do you like to define yourself by anything in particular? Like being a good dancer, artist, writer etc.

An exhibitionist who has no filter.

6. What’s the “big thing” you want the world to know about you, if anything?

A colourful person of integrity and value. This is my personal mission statement I live by every single day of my life. I want to empower and inspire positive change within people through art and understanding. 

7. What would you deem to be your biggest challenge in life so far?

Thinking that I have a good grasp on my self awareness but then always shocking myself with how I handle certain circumstances. Sometimes it feels like you are leaping forward but then all it takes is one trip up and you feel like you’ve stumbled back to the beginning. I try not to be too hard on myself but the self imposed pressure I put to be my optimum self is immense and even more so for my creative practice. The biggest challenges I find are in the day to day moments where I feel like I am quietly drowning – this is when I need to have the self awareness to step back – breath – and realise that I am doing a lot better than I am giving myself credit for.

And that it is okay to trip and fall – as long as I always get back up. And it sometimes takes longer than usual- but I always stand tall.

I believe we are defined by how we handle hard circumstances – it defines who we are and what character we have. I am a strong woman, and it takes a big person to admit when they are feeling small.

8. Where do you feel most at home, outside of the place that you are currently living?

People often associate home as a specific place but I feel like we are always changing and progressing and learning about ourselves that every time we return to a familiar place – we are different and feel different. For me, my home is in the hearts and company of my soul sisters that I met whilst solo travelling around Europe a few summers ago. I return back there every year and always make a point to go back to Florence, Italy to see them and to feel that overwhelming sense of LOVE – the sisterhood we have created is a home place that I can never really articulate into words – just feelings. It just feels right – like my heart and soul belong with them as theirs does with mine. I get emotional thinking deeply about it because I feel them here with me. Yeh, that’s home for me.

9. Do you think women have a particularly special bond with nature? If so, how would you describe this bond, and what relationship do you personally have with nature?

I think everyone has a connection with the natural world but for us females – I think when you feel the way we feel things, which is deeply and unconditionally – I do believe that we appreciate and connect to Mother Nature quite strongly. 

I feel so free and liberated when amongst sunflower fields, valleys dense with greenery, cascading waterfalls and mountain views and treehouses. I love and feel it all. I breathe easier when in nature. I think that says a lot about our human condition and also the relationship we hold when respecting Mother Nature. We are She – we are Woman.

10.What song or album can you always put on to bring you back to yourself?

Sade – Your Love is King

"I associate myself heavily to the biggest source of inspiration and wonder in my life and that is my beautiful mother. How could I perceive myself in a negative light when all I see is colour and a powerhouse woman?"

@marisa.mu
/marisamu.design
www.marisa-mu.com